Pieter-DIrk Uys
Robyn Cohen

"We're sitting at the Smelly Nellie and having tea", gleefully exclaims Pieter-Dirk Uys as we do a tape recorder voice test. The man from Darling conveys the obvious delight and exuberance of an excited school boy, chuffed at the treat of sipping tea at the plush Mount Nelson Hotel. He is clearly tickled, dare we say it, pink, by the setting - filled as it is with the abundant fragrance of the floral arrangements below the chandeliers, the perfumed guests, the unmistakable smell of hard currency. Then Uys lifts back his head and laughs warmly. It feels okay to sink into the ample chairs and enjoy the Earl Grey tea in the Royal Doulton cups.

Actor, cabaret artist, writer, playwright, director, producer-creator of South Africa's "most famous White Woman", Evita Bezuidenhout - there are a myriad of faces and facets to Pieter-Dirk Uys. It seems an almost impossible task to do justice to all his achievements in a concise review about a career which is quite extraordinary in its scope and vision.

As it happens extraordinary is one of the words Uys uses frequently, but not to describe himself. When he is talking about himself, the word "fear" constantly pops up. His work he says, is "always based on my own fear - you know, my fears of racism, my fears of being trapped by my own racism..." His memoirs, Elections & Erections', are about "fear and fun" and due out this October (to be published by Zebra).

The memoirs have a great deal to do with experiences of the shows at schools that he visited as part of his "election trek" in 1999. Uys took Evita (see glossary) around South Africa and did voter education through entertainment. Ten thousand kilometres, 63 shows in townships and squatter camps and cities and also how "...sex actually destroyed apartheid..." for him: "Because when I was 16 I had sex with someone 'of colour'. I didn't die so I realised someone was lying. Immorality is an act of God, if you break it you will die", he utters with his best PW Botha guttural accent. "I didn't die. I went back for more ..."

Prolific in every sense - as a writer and performer, he has over almost 60 plays and reviews to his name, books, CDs, videos, documentaries, corporate videos (Sex with Pieter-Dirk Uys). He has performed his one-person shows in Australia, Canada, USA, UK, Holland, Denmark, Switzerland, Austria, Germany and Slovenia. To give an idea of his phenomenal output, in 1997 alone, he wrote 7 reviews, a one-person play (No Space on Long Street) and published a book The Essential Evita (David Philip).

In the pipeline for 2003 is a new play called Perpetuating Myths, a review called Dying of Natural Xhosas a children's story and book of short stories. Uys already has his gaze fixed on the 2004 election "and what will be needed to balance the menu of choices", he says, somewhat cryptically.

Born in Cape Town in 1945, evidently, the fear factor was not present in his "happy childhood", although he admits, he and his Afrikaner Calvinist father fought a lot. Ma was Berlin-born Jewish. First memory of performing? "Singing in church to Hendrik Verwoerd!" School was Nassau High School in Mowbray. "Pa had a children's choir and we all sang. Tessa and I took part in eisteddfods". Younger sister Tessa Uys is the renowned concert pianist. He scoffs at questions of whether the genesis of his work was present in his childhood: "I was a normal kid, playing and imagining and eating bubble gum".

Tertiary education? "It's so irrelevant", he later emailed to me, in capitals, in response to my further probing. This is where I realised that this is the essence of Pieter Dirk Uys. Here is a man so intensely focussed on the here and now, not concerned a jot with something as distant as what and where he studied years ago. He is so urgently and passionately dealing with the enormous picture, this tsunami that is AIDS and the desperate need to break the stranglehold of ignorance, apathy and fear. Little else matters. It is single-minded purpose, honed through years of being "out there", winging it when all others cowered, and recoiled at his outspokenness.

Nevertheless, he has a B.A.(drama) from UCT and a diploma from the London Film School. Ironically Uys doesn't have a website. But he does keep a perch on Evita Bezuidenhout's site. Devoid of personal biographical information, his CV consists of a very, very long list of plays, books and other accomplishments.

He quips on the website that he "has outlived official apartheid, which ended in 1994 and "started irritating South African politicians and censors with his plays from 1973.... Most of his earlier targets are now either dead, in retirement, in disgrace, insane, incontinent, forgotten or recycled as avid supporters of the black majority rule."

Click on the Pieter-Dirk-Uys icon: Out pops a comic-strip type bubble with the word "Sies!". "Hello Skattie! flickers on Evita. "Come visit, Darling!" flashes at the Evita se Perron icon. There is everything from merchandising to online purchasing. Undoubtedly Uys is extremely savvy and astute in running his career. Want to know about Evita's recipe for Biltong and Port Soup with Blue Cheese? Or how about a detailed genealogy account of Tannie's fascinating and convoluted family tree? It is all there.

"[Evita has] actually been my job for the past 20 years ... - I have to diet for her, keep my double chin away, the nails right; shoes must be expensive R2,000.00 not R200.00 from Oriental Plaza. Because you will look at the shoes." When Evita makes a corporate appearance, it sets the client back R50,000.00. "When people say that is too expensive then I say get someone for less, I am not going to work for nothing, I do have another energy here and this has got to subsidise that ...".
The energy referred to is his major philanthropic pursuits, in the true sense of that word. He devotes time, money and his considerable and varied other skills to pragmatically and urgently promote consciousness, in particular to the critical masses - all school-going children. Yet Uys refuses to see it in these terms. It is simply something that has to be done, a matter of survival.

"I have a free show, it is an hour. it is not going to cost you anything, yes or no." Two years ago, he sent this e-mail out to schools in the Western Cape. Within two days, 50 said yes. To date, around 200 schools with about 400,000 children have seen his shows promoting safe sex. Uys receives no payment for this mammoth roadshow. He doesn't even accept payment to cover the costs such as travelling expenses: "Ja, I get in my car with my coldrink bottle and Tannie Evita in my boot and off I go".

"I don't want to have to entertain people filled with nostalgia for Apartheid. I don't want to go there. I do reflect that because it is still part of what I have to do remind people of where we have come from - which Evita does - but it is very much anchored in today."

Relishing his independence, he is not complaining. "If anybody had sponsored me, if the government had given me money, they would have stopped me after a month. It is uncharted territory. It's not a blueprint, like 'oh, let's's do this'. You've got to really take chances here", he adds searching for the words, " it is dangerous".

He relates how a twelve year old township school girl was quizzed by the SABC what she thought of his show. And she said: "no, no it is true". And they asked, 'how do you know it is true'. And she said: "Because it is free. If he was being paid to do it, we wouldn't believe it, but he is doing it for free so it must be true", he murmurs softly. "Isn't that extraordinary?, his voice resonates as his voice reaches a pitch. "So much for hype. Kids see through it ... 'you're obviously saying what your masters have told you to say'. It is a very interesting thing."

When that happened, he knew that his instincts to go it alone had been right on the mark. "I realised this is the place to be. It is good."

He relates in a voice which is almost a whisper how a 6 year old child, with no teeth, wanted to attend the show: "Ek is bang for sex ... vertel my vir sex' Uys told her she was 'too young. She replied 'no I'm too scared. I want to know. Because I know this thing [AIDS] is waiting for me and I know what's going on".

Then there were the group of township children who were bussed in to see the show at Bishops (school). "I did my thing for an hour and then they had doughnuts and cooldrink. And then they broke into little groups to discuss, drugs, abuse .... But, Bishops is like a first class lounge . The seats are like this (gesturing to the plush couches we are sitting on at the hotel) .... a little boy fell asleep. Afterwards, the embarrassed teacher apologised. I asked - tell me where does he sleep? She said - on the floor. I said, 'he has had the best sleep of his life'. That was great. I said to the kids you have all the possibilities to make your dreams come true because that is what democracy is about. You have got to focus in at what you want. Work hard and you get it".

Talking about children he has met, his eyes light up with sheer wonder: "Amazing kids. Wonderful. I am so inspired by them. They have made me so excited about the future of this country. I have real optimistic belief that if we can keep this generation alive, we're going to have a great country". He pauses and then the words dangle heavily, ominously in the air as he adds with a tremor in his voice (not an sound effect or affectation but truly sad as if he truly means it) "If we can keep them alive now. Tonight. Not tomorrow. Today."

Every group is different, so the performance is never the same. Some schools have computers. Some don't even have electricity. They all have their dreams. "I met the gangs with their tattoos and gold teeth. They all want to do something with their lives ... there's been so much signal of hope. It is our job to make these kids aware that every minute of their relaxing moment is in danger. It is not when they are at school - that they get viruses. It is after schools - at parties, the after situation which is just so ugly...".

He re-focuses again: "In the old days of the first virus, which was apartheid; it was a political thing. Now it is a survival thing. Aids will succeed where the government failed. You're up against the government who is doing such damage through inaction, that one has do something. There's no choice here when you really focus your work on the political structure of your country."

At 57, the Uys energy is apparently unstoppable. When he is not trotting around the globe, performing at the Sydney Opera House (October 2002) or at the Tricycle Theatre in London (every two years), he is at his cabaret theatre, Evita se Perron in Darling on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.

The Perron is at the former railway station in the village of Darling, 45 minutes from Cape Town up the West Coast: "It chose me. I went there just by chance one day, and saw a derelict house in 1996. Moved in and 3 months later the little station where the carpenter had his little workshop, he moved on and the landlord said you can use this as a storeroom. And I just saw the words Evita se Perron because Perron is also the Afrikaans word for platform, pausing as he makes clicking noises, as if to demonstrate how the ideas connected with each other. It truly has become a platform for Uys to try out new material in a Sunday afternoon slot called work-in-progress. This is his "hot house" to try out new material. There is no admission charge.

At the Perron, he employs over 40 people. He also runs an arts school and a piano school with children from the area attending regular classes. Again, there is no payment. Uys also pays for youngsters from the area to attend "...big schools where they learn French and Xhosa", he says, his eyes shining.

On stage at the Perron, some of these talented youngsters also "act" as Evita's grandchildren. "They get little fees which means in maybe five years, there will be a little kitty for them do something for their education or whatever they need to do". There are two sets of children. "The A team sings. The B team doesn't sing. But the A team is sometimes busy because they play sport, so the B team comes along", he explains, cracking up.

Even at a young age, he muses it is important for these children to know: "Work hard at something. If you're good, people will want to pay you for that and that can become a career".

The mentor is no stranger to hard yakka. On Mondays, he performs at cabaret venues, On Broadway in Green Point and Tuesdays in Table View. There are corporate gigs, development of new projects, writing plays, books and his monthly columns for The Big Issue magazine and SA Times London (a freebie newspaper available in London).

Making it sound like a breeze, Uys, deflects question with his hands flung dismissively, about how he manages to cram so much into one day. When not working at night, he is in bed at 8pm and "... up at 5am when the animals ... want to wee and then I can do a lot of work between 5 and 8am. Everything works out terribly well."

One person who is the position to comment about his efficiency is Russel Shapiro of On Broadway. "He is truly a professional. The man is a genius - in terms of phenomenal work output as well as his brilliant time management.
No driver or chauffeur, he schleps everything himself. According to Shapiro, an average Monday in the life of Pieter Dirk Uys goes like this: Drives from his home in Darling to Cape Town; does a show for example at Jan Van Riebeek School; then drives to Athlone High and onto Muizenberg High School. After three shows it is back to On Broadway in Green Point, where he drops off his lighting, props and equipment and sets everything up for the show that evening. "He does his own lighting and sound. He is truly a one-man show"., marvels an incredulous Shapiro.

Suitably prepped for the evening show, Uys, who loves movies - pops off - alone - for his regular 5pm Monday movie fix at the Waterfront. After that he returns and performs at On Broadway. Show over, he scuttles up the road to Cafe Manhattan for his supper of lamb chops and a glass of red house wine. "He always making notes in his little flip-pad", says Shapiro, but always stops to greet people as they come and say hello. The day finally finishes when Uys strolls to his overnight accommodation.
Unlike others in the industry who are known to cancel if numbers don't satisfy their egos, the show always goes on. He once performed Ouma Ossewania Praat Vuil to 9 people and didn't bat an eyelid. (Evita's 100 year old grandmother Ouma Ossewania Kakebenia Poggenpoel was "born at the turn of the previous century in the Heldersonop Concentration Camp in the Oranje Vrystaat during the Anglo-Boer War").

"Nothing must be easy", says Uys, in his characteristically punchy, emotional, yet somehow resonant, way, often interspersed with profound moments where he is silent. "If something looks easy I walk away, because that means it's been done before. I love the unknown. Knowing I will one day die is probably one of the most exciting things to expect."
Draining his tea cup, he rushes off to address a woman's lunch. A loner and at the same time a leader who is acutely tuned into the contemporary social landscape, he is a beacon for us all. "... I don't want to wake up in 10 years and look back and think, jeepers I could have done something to help and I did nothing. It is a simple as that... I've got to make people laugh at their fear ..."

Pieter-Dirk Uys and Tannie Evita Bezuidenhout

Defining Pieter-Dirk Uys

Prolific Uys:
Almost 60 plays/reviews/cabarets to date with a couple in the pipeline for 2003. Major successes locally and internationally include Adapt or Dye (1981) and Truth Omissions (1996). The latter is also available on CD (Third Ear Music). Works in the last few years include the richly textured Dekaffirnated (1999), For Facts Sake (2000), Foreign Aids and Symbols of Sex and State (both 2001). Film and video work number over 26 projects not including his corporate videos. Published books and plays weigh in at the 22 mark (and include two editions of Paradise is Closing Down).

Awards:
Most recently received an award from the medical faculty of the University of Cape Town in honour of his work in teaching young people about the danger of Aids.

Personal is always political "As long as there are dark corners of fear I will use my little torch to illuminate. Democracy dies behind closed doors, so I will force those doors open with peals of laughter. Politics is also a disease without a cure. We must neutralise their power with commitment and calm."

"Naai" word. Recently got into hot water for his use of the word that dares not speak its name in a media campaign promoting safe sex.

Uys Glossary

Actor-vist -
Using entertainment to put across dangerous attitudes and points of view which focus on survival. "I am not a politician. I'm just an entertainer who has had experience at entertaining in a minefield."

Re-actor -
"I re-act to other peoples' reactions. If there's an audience I can sense where the material will go. That's why it is constantly work in progress."

Fear-
"Fear is the most successful thing in the world because it frightens you to death - before you know what it is. Because of fear, people look away - often don't listen and have racist opinions, prejudices and denials. The moment they actually come to terms with their fear and realise there's nothing really to be frightened of, they change. We're an example in this country. We are managing to live together, after all these years of having to live apart because we're not as frightened as we were."

Comedy of prejudice "People laugh at their own prejudice and then they stop laughing because they have given their prejudice away."

Tannie Evita Bezuidenhout

A star is born.
Evita first appeared in columns Uys wrote for the Sunday Express (1978-81): "Someone said this is the Evita of Pretoria ... The editor said I can't say these things but you get way with it because this creature, this woman says it. You realise the incredible power of the fantasy - of the character. To this day Evita says things I wouldn't say. Couldn't say. And yet it is acceptable because people don't feel threatened."

Adapt or Dye.
Evita emerged in the flesh on 1 April 1981 at the Market Theatre, Johannesburg in Adapt or Dye: The success of the character hinges upon the fact that "Women recognise the woman, men forget the man."

Out of parliament into the kitchen. "When the homelands disappeared she lost her job as ambassador and then she lost her government and then of course she had to get into bed with the new government. Now, she cooks. She [did] all the Bobotie for the earth summit". See her in action in Symbols of Sex and State.

Evita's favourite saying: "Hypocrisy is the vaseline of political intercourse"

Upsetting the status quo: Recently The Minister of health, Manto Tshabala-Msimang went to the Perron, to see Tannie Evita Praat Kacktus. Evita asked her - "Minister maybe you can answer a question my grandchildren keep asking me, you are the minister of health, maybe you can tell me: Does HIV lead to AIDs. All you have to do is nod for yes and shake your head for no. She looked and she got up and wagged her finger like a good Mafia Madame, and she said 'Evitah, I'm ya friend.' And that was it. And I thought, Christ she won't even answer a woman that doesn't exist."

Sibling rivalry. "Evita is like the Queen Mother ... She's really not dangerous. I tell you who is dangerous is her sister Bambi Kellerman (currently baring it all in Foreign Aids). After having married a Nazi and having being a stripper and having Aids and a whorehouse in Paarl, she's a real smootz ; a real interesting character."